I figured it
was about time that I made myself sit down and write a little something for my
blog. I don’t know where the past couple
of months have gone. I look back and
just sort of see a blur. But here we are
almost the end of January and have survived about half of the winter
already. Most of all, I’ve learned a
lesson or two about retirement.
Heh! It probably won’t be awhile
until that actually comes to pass, but with Jeff’s back surgery and his being
home for the past three and a half months, we have both had a taste of what it
might be like when “one” retires.
I’ve heard
in the past, of grand stories when folks retire and are able to travel and do
all sorts of things they were never able to do when they were working. Some folks are able to get involved in
hobbies and just spend more time at home doing those sorts of things. But one thing that both Jeff and I have
possibly been able to get a glimpse of during this time, is that once you
retire…..the two of you are going to be together pretty much ALL of the time!
When Jeff
and I were young and dating, and then first married, we wanted to be together
all the time…spend all of our time together.
But as the years have moved on, sort of unbeknownst to each of us, our
lives seemed to turn into two separate lives which come together daily, but
still we are separate. Jeff has his own
life, there at work, doing his “thing”, and I have my own life, here at home
doing my own “thing”.
After the
first few weeks of Jeff’s recuperation from his surgery we both realized that
he was just “here”. He tried to keep
busy, but there was only so much he could do with his health limitations, and
we both realized that he was sort of “in my space” now. We got a little snippy with each other at
times and I was wondering why. Well, it
came to me after a grocery shopping trip when Jeff was following me around the
store, putting things in the basket and I found it irritating. I was so use to being at the grocery store by
myself just sort of taking my time…if I wanted to. So, I brought it up to Jeff and we were able
to agree that it wasn’t easy for either of us.
Jeff didn’t like “not” having his own space and “being in my space” and
I didn’t like having him in mine.
I have heard
of couples getting divorced after retirement and wondered why, but I can see
that this could be the root cause. I’ve
also heard that some couples when they go on LDS missions together, have a
really hard time because they are together 24 hours a day. Over time we have melted into our own little
world, and it’s hard to “let” somebody back in, especially when we’re older and
set in our ways.
After that
day of “inspiration”, I guess you could call it; both Jeff and I tried to be
more understanding of each other. Jeff
started working out in his shop and keeping himself busy on his tractor and
doing things he enjoyed doing, which left me, with my quiet house for part of
the day, and when he is here we try to stay out of each other’s way.
Maybe we
have been able to get this little glimpse into our future so that we can
prepare for “someday” down the road when Jeff will retire for good and we will
be able to spend “all” our time together.
Hopefully we can remember this lesson and be prepared with our own
hobbies that can keep us busy and out of each other’s hair. Hopefully we can go forward and continue to
respect each other and love each other and when that time comes we will be
ready to spend all of our time together and “want” to be together.
For now,
Jeff got the go-ahead today from his doctor that he can return to work. His back is healing really well and he can do
“most” of the work that he was doing before he left. The surgery seems to be a success because the
original back pain is gone. There are
still a few pains that he’s probably going to have to get use to, just like all
of us, with old age and our health problems, but all in all I believe that he
is pleased with the outcome of the surgery.
And for me,
I’m glad that I learned a lesson or two also.
I’m use to Jeff being here now and I’m going to miss having him
around. I imagine it won’t take long for
us all to get back into our routines.
Hopefully I can remember the things I’ve learned.
I've included a few pictures of things that we enjoy doing together now. Let's hope that we still enjoy these things down the road!
Jeff and I hiked to the Darby Wind Caves about a year and a half ago.
That's a tough one tho.
My knees gave out on the way down.
That's a tough one tho.
My knees gave out on the way down.
We have always enjoyed going for drives in the mountains.
We enjoy camping....but....I'm really getting to where it would be best if I had one that had a bathroom in it!!! So, by the time we retire maybe we would have a bigger, nicer camper.
AND OF COURSE SPENDING TIME WITH THE GRANDKIDS:
Grandpa Jeff and Kaybrie riding on the tube behind the 4-wheeler.
This was 2 years ago, by the way, before he had his back surgery!!
Nicole helping Grandpa Jeff move snow with his John Deer tractor
Grandma Becky and Nicole playing Frisbee when we visited them in Oregon
Grandpa Jeff and Nicole going for a walk and "visiting" in Oregon
1 comment:
It's refreshing to hear someone else reflecting on probably THE most important aspect of married life: Free Space! I once went to the science fiction writer Ray Bradbury's seminar before he died and remember when he stated: The most important thing about married life is for a man to have a garage! A place to be alone sometimes. It's like the book "Men are from Mars and Women from Venus" Men need a cave to hibernate in.... We tend to work out problems quietly in reflection... I think all people need that. It reminds me of my favorite line from George in the show "Seinfeld" as he laments being constantly together in a newly formed relationship: "You're taking away independant George!!!!"
So thanks for the post!
Post a Comment