Did I Do Enough?

"Let Adversity Make You A Better Person"

Today was one of those special moments in a parent’s life when you get to attend a program of one of your grand children.  Out of the corner of your eye you silently watch your grown up child smile as their little one gets to show off a little bit and you wonder what they’re thinking as their little one jumps up and down in front of everyone, and grins really big and waves to Mom and Dad and Grandma and Grandpa way in the back of the room.  Are they embarrassed, or are they really proud of how cute their little 4-year-old is.

Today was the first time that Kaybrie participated in her Primary Program at church.  For those of you who might not be familiar with that, it’s where all the children in our church “area” put on a program, done once a year.  They each have a small speaking part, and they all sing songs.  They speak and sing of Jesus and what He means to them.  The parents and grandparents are so proud to see their children take their turn, that a lot of times the real “message” of the program is lost in the actual giving of the program.

The final song today was “I Am a Child of God”.  Oh, so many times I sang that song with my own four sons as they were growing up, and here I was with my oldest son and his little girl and she was singing it to us today.  The primary children sang the first verse and then the rest of us were to join in and sing the other two versus along with them.  Well, as you can imagine, my emotions took control and I just blubbered through the entire song.   

If I might paint a picture of the situation:  Here I am sitting with my oldest son, Ben, right in front of me, his wife is up in front, because she is a Primary teacher now and their little one, Kaybrie is up in front.  Next to me is Bobby, who is almost 22 and next to him is Tom, who is 23, Jeff is next to him.  Hundreds of miles away, in Oregon is Ryan, who is 25 with his wife and little girl who is 4 years old.  And the song begins….

“I am a child of God, and He has sent me here.  Has given me an earthly home with parents kind and dear.  Lead me, guide me, walk beside me, help me find the way.  Teach me all that I must do to live with Him someday.” 

And that’s when it hit me…..”Did I do enough?”  I wondered if it was too late.  How can I know if I’d done enough or if it was too late?

The song continues:

“I am a child of God, and so my needs are great.  Help me to understand His words, before it grows too late.  Lead me, guide me, walk beside me, help me find the way.  Teach me all that I must do to live with Him someday.” 

“I am a child of God, rich blessings are in store, if I but learn to do His will, I’ll live with Him once more.  Lead me, guide me, walk beside me, help me find the way.  Teach me all that I must do to live with Him someday.” 

And so, as I pondered that question, through the song, through the rest of today….I guess I just have to say….it’s not over yet.  I did the best that I knew how at the time.  I’m still working on it.  I have the most awesome kids in the world and now they’re giving on to their kids, and actually, they’re giving back to me. 

I couldn’t ask for anything more, or anything better than that.  Oh how I love you.  And to my loving Heavenly Father may I please ask you to lead me, guide me, walk beside me, help me find the way.  Teach me all that I must do……to return to you someday.

Until next time!  Becky