What Is Christmas All About

"Let Adversity Make You A Better Person"

This morning I am sitting here on the couch with my body aching from yesterday's activities of putting up the Christmas tree and a few decorations.  I really hadn't had the desire to put up any decorations this year.  The kids are all grown.  Although Tom and Bob are still at home, they are gone alot.  Mostly it's just Jeff and I, and I kept wondering "why?"  I'll just go to the trouble of putting up the decorations and only Jeff and I will see them and then I will take them down in a couple of weeks.

But yesterday Tom had a couple of hours at home and I told him if he wanted to get the boxes of decorations down I would spend the day putting a "few" things up.  Well, it took me all day and my body ached from head to toe by the time I was done.  (For those of you who don't realize the effects of some of my health issues, this is one of the problems I have.)  But when Bobby walked in from work last night and said "oh, Christmas", it made me smile and seemed to be worth it.

My favorite part of my decorations is the nativity scene that I got when I was about 11 or 12 and I was a Merri-Miss or something like that in Young Women's back then.  It's made out of card board and you put it together.  It's very old, well since I'm old it must be too, but I've tried to keep it in good shape.  I always set it up under the Christmas tree with lights under it.  I couldn't find it this year and I was putting everything away and felt really sad that I wouldn't be able to have it out.  Just as I was ready to close the last box to put things away, there it was.  I know I had looked in all the boxes several times.  The addition of that to the decorations made all the difference.  Later, as Jeff and I sat alone, in our quiet little house where really it's just the two of us that see the decorations most of the time, he told me that when he saw the nativity scene it brought tears to his eyes.

Last Sunday the First Presidency of our Church had their Christmas Devotional broadcast and we had missed it because we had gone to visit my Mom and Dad.  We had recorded it though.  I'm so glad that we have DVR.  Anyway, I really had a rough night last night.  My body ached all night long and I woke up feeling very tired and wondering about all the work I put into decorating the house.  Instead of going to church (yes, I skipped church), I laid down on the couch and watched the Devotional.  It really opened my eyes to what Christmas is really all about.  It made me think about the Nativity Scene and why it should always be central in my Christmas decorations and if nothing else gets put up I need to take the time to put up the Nativity Scene.  I especially liked President Uchtdorf's message and how he told the story of How the Grinch Stole Christmas and it was wonderful how he brought out the meaning in that story.  If any of you missed the Devotional, here is a link to it:

First Presidency Christmas Devotional

My most favorite Christmas show in the whole world is the Charlie Brown Christmas.  When Charlie Brown asks "does anyone know what Christmas is all about" and Linus gets up on stage and the lights go dim and the spotlight goes on him and he recites the Christmas Story from Luke in his little "Linus voice":

"And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night.  And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid.  And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.  For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord.  And this shall be a sign unto you;  Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.  And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly hosts praising God, and saying, Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men."

Then he picks up his little blue blanky and walks over to Charlie Brown and says "that's what Christmas is all about Charlie Brown" and sticks his thumb in his mouth.

Does it need to be any more complicated than that?  Christmas is the celebration of the birth of our Saviour.  How do we do that?  We don't need to make it a huge stressful ordeal of parties and lists.  Sometimes it's enough just to remember what He has done for you and your family.  IF you are able, then it's awesome if you can do more, but maybe that should be secondary, AFTER you have "remembered" what He has done for you.

Maybe the "list" that we should start with each Christmas is the list of our blessings from our Saviour.  Then the Christmas card that we write would be a Thank You to our Saviour for all that He has done for us.

May all of you be filled with the joy of the Saviour's love this year.  He knows you by name.  I know that for certain!

Until next time!  Becky 

Was It Worth It?

"Let Adversity Make You A Better Person"

Sometimes you decide to do things for yourself, and then other times you decide to do things for other people.  Either way, you make a plan and set the plan in motion.  Most times something gets in the way and there are often times when you might decide that it’s something you just don’t want to do after all.  But when it’s something that you know that is for the better good for other people, you just decide to do all that you can to see the plan through.  Well, that’s what Thanksgiving this year was all about.

Although Jeff is out of work right now because of his back surgery and our money is really tight, we made the decision to go to Oregon to spend Thanksgiving with Ryan, Jenni and Nicole.  They are living there while Ryan is going to school.  It’s a long ways for them to be away from family during the holidays.  Tom and Bobby had a whole week off of school that week and with Jeff not working, we decided to pool our monies together and see if we could come up with what it would take to travel the 13 to 14 hours to spend the holidays with them.

On Sunday night, November 21^st, we had everything packed and we wanted to leave the house by 7 a.m.  the following morning.  I had a hard time sleeping, so I spent the night on the couch listening to the wind howl outside.  I would get up every hour and each time I did I could see the snowdrift in our drive way get taller and wider as the biggest winter storm of the season made its way into our area.  I just kept wondering if we would be able to go.

 These pictures are of the drift in the driveway.  They are about 5 feet tall.

At 5 a.m. I got Jeff out of bed and we talked things over and wondered how we could get out of the yard.  I decided to get Tom and Bob up and if they wanted to shovel the driveway out then we could get the Trailblazer out and we could be on our way.  So, that’s what we did.  We pulled out of our yard at about 7 a.m. with a packed full Trailblazer, a winter blizzard in our faces and headed 800 miles for Klamath Falls, Oregon.

The roads were covered with snow and slick most of the way.  Somewhere between Pocatello and Twin Falls, Idaho our 4-wheel drive went out on us.  That was not good.  It didn’t cause any mechanical failures, but we just couldn’t use our 4-wheel drive. 

We would stop every couple of hours for a break because the going was pretty slow.  Jeff decided he wanted to do most of the driving.  It was hard for him not being in control of the vehicle in the yucky weather. 

About 9 p.m. we were on a mountain pass in Oregon, west of Lakeview, in a pretty bad blizzard  when we came upon a semi-truck that had jack-knifed and gone off the road and then blocked the road.  It had caused another truck to go off the road on the other side.  Traffic was blocked on both sides of the pass.  We found out it would be about 4 hours before a tow-truck could get there.  But it would be 3 or so hours to turn around and go back.  Most of the traffic decided to just wait it out.  We all stayed in our cars on the pass.  We were there for 6 hours.  The bathroom situation was interesting, to say the least.

Once we got through and to the next town everything was shut down and all the motels were full.  It was about 3 in the morning.  We did wake up a motel manager and he let us use a bathroom.  All of the gas stations were closed and the pumps locked, because they won’t let you pump your own gas in Oregon.  So, we went and parked in front of a launder matt and slept until about 5 a.m. when the gas station opened and we could get gas and get moving again.

We arrived in Klamath Falls at about 9 a.m.  The only time that our car even did any sliding on the road was when we were pulling into Klamath Falls, we were coming around a corner and it went sideways.  My heart did a little whipdy-doo!  It took us 27 hours to make a 14 hour trip. 

I will end this posting with our stay of four days there in Klamath Falls, so I will now tell of our drive back home.  The entire time that we had been there it had been quite nice, but Saturday morning when we got up to leave it had already snowed about 3 or 4 inches.  The entire drive back home we never went over 50 miles an hour.  The average was about 35.  The roads were treacherous.  Sometimes it was blizzarding, sometimes the fog was so thick you couldn’t see at all in front of you.  We arrived home Sunday morning.  It took us about 21 hours.  I know that we had little angels holding on to the car carrying us home.

It had been a constant blizzard at our home while we had been gone and our driveway was completely snowed in, but some wonderful neighbors had plowed us out so when we arrived home we were able to get in to our house. 

My brother had emailed me this picture that he took of our driveway while we were gone.  Someone had tried to clear it out but the snow was too heavy.  We were afraid we might have to come home to something like this.  Thank goodness we didn't. 

Now…..my question that I put to you at the beginning….”was it worth it?”…..Oh yes!  

 My Grand-daughter, Nicole Faith Muench

 

 From the front around the left:  Bobby, Ryan, Jenni, Jeff, and Tom

Playing games

To spend four awesome days with my son, my daughter-in-law, and my grand-daughter, it was wonderful!  To experience what Ryan is doing in his school studies, to hold my grand-daughter as she pats my hand with hers and calls me “grammy” and then to have her tell me she loves me, to visit with all of them….that’s what Thanksgiving, the holidays, life, is all about.  I would do it all again! 

It was worth every minute of it!

And now, just a little add on......

Since Tom, Bob, and Ryan were going to be out of school for a week and Jeff was not working, they decided to have a facial hair growing contest.  So, they all shaved on Thursday, November 18th and then they would see who grew the most facial hair by Friday, November 26th, before we had to leave.  Now, this is kind of a big deal, because Jeff has had a mustache ever since he returned from his mission and that's before I ever knew him.  I had never seen him without one.  I was really surprised that he agreed to it.  I learned that he looks alot like his Dad underneath that mustache and that his boys look alot more like him too.  Kind of funny, and it was fun!   So here are the pictures and I imagine all of you can guess who won.....

 Jeff before he shaved his mustache

Jeff after he shaved his mustache

Left to Right:  Bobby, Tom, Ryan, Jeff

Left to Right:  Bobby, Tom, Ryan, Jeff

So, don't let the gray in the facial hair fool you.  The boys bought their Dad an A&W Rootbeer Float on Friday for winning the facial hair contest.  He has his mustache back.  Tom and Bobby have shaved so they can go back to school.  I would imagine Ryan has trimmed up his mustache and beard and looks pretty nice!

 It was a lot of fun!

 Until next time!  Becky

And What Have We Learned?

"Let Adversity Make You A Better Person"

And What Have We Learned?

Twenty-Nine years ago today, a young 24 year old man and a 21 year old girl tied the knot and decided to spend the rest of their life, and eternity, together. 

 Becky Rae Beard Muench--Picture taken November 1981

Jeffrey Robert Muench, Sr.--Picture taken November 1981

Boy that seemed to be an awful long time, at that time in their life.  But here it is, twenty-nine years later and it just seems like it’s flown by.  But, I guess when you look at all the things that have happened between then and now, it’s been huge. 

The night of our reception was similar to this night, twenty-nine years later.  It was snowing quite heavy that night and we were driving on slick roads from Driggs, Idaho to West Yellowstone, Montana for our honeymoon in Jeff’s little Capri.  It didn’t matter that we weren’t going to some exotic island for our honeymoon.  West Yellowstone was about as awesome as it got around here.  And that’s how we started out our life together. 

Although there were some bumps along the way, we included the Lord in the decisions that we made and He helped to bring us through those tough times.  Four really special sons each added their own personalities and helped to complete our lives and make our house into a home.  

Muench Boys--Picture taken about 1989

 Ryan William, Jeffrey Robert (Bobby), Benjamin Jeffrey, Thomas Raymond

So many memories  have been made and are still in the making.  And although our soft skin is all wrinkling now, the agile muscles are changing and making us slow our pace, our hair is graying and our eye-sight is dimming, we see perfectly the love of a family who cares deeply for each other and would do anything to make life easier for each other. 

Maybe in the past twenty-nine years, if I could start off listing all the things that I’ve learned I think I’d like to start with love and patience one for another.  I love Jeff and my boys more than anything in the whole world.  Maybe that’s why we are put together as families to help teach each other those principles and to help carry each other along when the times are tough. 

To my loving and wonderful husband, Jeff, thank you for being patient with me.  I have a little card that I have kept for many years that you wrote to me.  It means a lot to me.  It says:

“I hope you have all that you pray for.  I hope you know how much I love you!”

I hope the same for you every day of your life.  All my love to you, my dear "SB, Jeff" !

Until Next Time!  Becky

Did I Do Enough?

"Let Adversity Make You A Better Person"

Today was one of those special moments in a parent’s life when you get to attend a program of one of your grand children.  Out of the corner of your eye you silently watch your grown up child smile as their little one gets to show off a little bit and you wonder what they’re thinking as their little one jumps up and down in front of everyone, and grins really big and waves to Mom and Dad and Grandma and Grandpa way in the back of the room.  Are they embarrassed, or are they really proud of how cute their little 4-year-old is.

Today was the first time that Kaybrie participated in her Primary Program at church.  For those of you who might not be familiar with that, it’s where all the children in our church “area” put on a program, done once a year.  They each have a small speaking part, and they all sing songs.  They speak and sing of Jesus and what He means to them.  The parents and grandparents are so proud to see their children take their turn, that a lot of times the real “message” of the program is lost in the actual giving of the program.

The final song today was “I Am a Child of God”.  Oh, so many times I sang that song with my own four sons as they were growing up, and here I was with my oldest son and his little girl and she was singing it to us today.  The primary children sang the first verse and then the rest of us were to join in and sing the other two versus along with them.  Well, as you can imagine, my emotions took control and I just blubbered through the entire song.   

If I might paint a picture of the situation:  Here I am sitting with my oldest son, Ben, right in front of me, his wife is up in front, because she is a Primary teacher now and their little one, Kaybrie is up in front.  Next to me is Bobby, who is almost 22 and next to him is Tom, who is 23, Jeff is next to him.  Hundreds of miles away, in Oregon is Ryan, who is 25 with his wife and little girl who is 4 years old.  And the song begins….

“I am a child of God, and He has sent me here.  Has given me an earthly home with parents kind and dear.  Lead me, guide me, walk beside me, help me find the way.  Teach me all that I must do to live with Him someday.” 

And that’s when it hit me…..”Did I do enough?”  I wondered if it was too late.  How can I know if I’d done enough or if it was too late?

The song continues:

“I am a child of God, and so my needs are great.  Help me to understand His words, before it grows too late.  Lead me, guide me, walk beside me, help me find the way.  Teach me all that I must do to live with Him someday.” 

“I am a child of God, rich blessings are in store, if I but learn to do His will, I’ll live with Him once more.  Lead me, guide me, walk beside me, help me find the way.  Teach me all that I must do to live with Him someday.” 

And so, as I pondered that question, through the song, through the rest of today….I guess I just have to say….it’s not over yet.  I did the best that I knew how at the time.  I’m still working on it.  I have the most awesome kids in the world and now they’re giving on to their kids, and actually, they’re giving back to me. 

I couldn’t ask for anything more, or anything better than that.  Oh how I love you.  And to my loving Heavenly Father may I please ask you to lead me, guide me, walk beside me, help me find the way.  Teach me all that I must do……to return to you someday.

Until next time!  Becky

The Big Picture

"Let Adversity Make You A Better Person"

This past couple of weeks I’ve had a lot of time to lay awake at night and do some thinking.  I’ve thought about all of this before, but as 1 a.m. became 2 a.m. and so on until 5 or 6 a.m. I was able to organize my thoughts a little more on this subject and decided I would put it on my web page.

In the fall of 1999 it became apparent that I needed to go out looking for a job to help support our family again.  Of course my goal was to find the best paying job with the best benefits, and it would be nice to find something that I would enjoy doing too.  I applied several places but was called in for an interview at the potato processing plant here in town.  They were looking for a full time Human Resources Manager.  I had the experience, and the pay and benefits were awesome.  It looked very promising.  But alas, I was not chosen for that position.   

A couple of days later I got a call from Ricks College and they had a part time secretary position available.  Well, with my blinders on, I thought “well, cool, I suppose I will take it.  At least it’s a job”.  It’s a good thing that “Someone” else was watching out for me and my family and could see “The Big Picture”.

I started out as a part time secretary, answering phones.  I remember walking by the lady that put the catalog together and thinking “wow, wouldn’t that be something to be able to put the catalog together!”  Have you ever heard the phrase “be careful what you wish for?”  Well, be careful what you even think about.  I remember my boss talking to me about the course syllabus.  I had no idea what he was talking about.  Ya see when it was my turn to graduate from high school, it really “wasn’t important” for me to get an education.  “The money wasn’t there for it.”  So working in the Academic Department at the college, many of the terms they used were very foreign to me.

Within 6 months though, I was full time in the Academic Department and right in the middle of the 2 year college changing over to a 4 year University, BYU-Idaho.  My boss continued to give me more and more responsibilities and I loved it!  I learned what a syllabus was and it’s not a silly bus that you drive (heh), and guess what…….I ended up being the one that put the catalog together.  I don’t know for sure if that was a blessing sometimes, but I loved it too.  

I continued to receive more and more responsibilities and gained more and more confidence and it was the best job I ever could have been given.  But as I lay there in the middle of the night thinking about all of this, it was way more than just “me” that was being taken care of here. 

Because of my job, Jeff could get a tuition waiver and so he went back to school and got his Associates Degree in Ag Mechanics and then was hired on full time at BYU-Idaho working on the busses.  My kids got a tuition waiver which has allowed them to be able to get a good start on their education.  The health care benefits have been amazing, which without them I don’t know what we would have done.  With my health problems and the different things that Jeff and the kids have had done, we just couldn’t have paid for it. 

 

So, when you sit in your little chair looking straight ahead with your blinders on and think “dang, why didn’t I get that job?”  Or, “why is this happening to me?”……sometimes we don’t see THE BIG PICTURE until we  are able to look back on it and see how it was painted, but the Creator, the One who knows all, sees what we cannot see.  He helps us make those little turns on the path in our lives that the blind spots would make impossible for us to get around.  And wow, there is no other way to get from point A to point B without that help.  

Thank you for watching over me and mine.  I know You are there!
Watching out for Me 

Until next time!  Becky

Remembering

"Let Adversity Make You A Better Person"

Whenever there is an “event” of any kind, it is different for each person that is involved.  Each person remembers what they were doing at the moment of the event and their feelings during and after the event, and then how it affected them.  So, even though it was the very same event, there could be millions of different ways that same event could be told….or remembered.

Today marks one of those “events” in my life and in the life of my family and friends.  It sort of seems like there was life before “the accident” and after “the accident”.  

In my opinion, all major events need to have some history in order for the reader to know why it touched or affected a person the way that it did.  So I will take this time to reminisce a bit, I suppose.

In the mid-1990’s our family was involved in the Cowboy Poets of Idaho, which were a group ranging from ranchers and farmers in their 80’s to youngsters, like my kids, who had regular every day jobs, but also liked to perform Cowboy Poems and Music and would gather together as often as time would permit at what we called Cowboy Poetry Gatherings and perform for each other and for others who wanted to listen.  Those who met together often became very close friends, often closer than family in many cases.  It use to be a joke that everyone would tell that the Gatherings were like Family Reunions only everybody liked each other.

There was one such couple, Colen and Ruth Sweeten that we became very close friends with.  Colen performed poetry and at times he would have his grand-daughter, Jenny Isom, perform with him.  She sang and played her flute.  I think she was about 14 when we first saw her perform.  I remember one song she did was “Grand-Dad’s Wooden Chain” while Colen would sit and whittle a wooden chain.  

It was at a gathering in Salmon, Idaho that we performed at (Jeff on guitar and vocals, Ryan on the bass guitar, Tom on the fiddle, Bobby and on vocals), that Jenny and Ryan “sort of” became good friends.  But not only that, I met her Mom, Jan, and we became good friends too.  Their family lived in Idaho Falls.  There was the Dad, Chuck, their older son, Blake, and two younger sons, Shane, who was Tom’s age, and Daniel, who was Bobby’s age.  It was then that our family friendship began.  

As time went on, we would spend many evenings or weekends together as families, celebrating holidays or just playing board games.  The boys got along so good together and yes, so did Ryan and Jenny.  Jan and Jenny started singing together at some of the gatherings and they would come over to the house about once a week and we would help them practice.  The boys would play the music for them.  I sang a couple of songs with them.  We were all just goofy and happy together.  We traveled to the gatherings together also.

Well, with all of that in mind…..jump ahead……there was a Cowboy Poetry Gathering coming up in Emmett, Idaho scheduled for October 18^th and 19^th, 2002.  Ryan and I had decided not to go, but Jeff, Tom and Bob drove across the state for the 2 day event, to perform.  I know now, looking backwards, there was definitely divine intervention in me staying behind.

It was Saturday, the 19^th, around noon, Colen Sweeten called me.  This was quite unusual.  I knew that Ruth had been sick and in the hospital, so I was afraid something had gone wrong there.  But nothing ever could have prepared me for what came next.  He told me that the Isom’s had been in a head on collision that morning.  Hit by a drunk driver.  Chuck, Jan, and Jenny had all been killed.  Shane and Daniel were in critical condition in the Idaho Falls hospital.  

Even now, the tears are rolling down my face and my chest is shaking with sobs as I remember how horrible that felt.  Ryan had gone to town with a friend and I knew that I had to tell him what had happened.  He had taken my cell phone and I called him to have him come home.  I called Jeff in Emmett and ended up telling him right before they were getting ready to perform.  I don’t know how they went out on that stage and performed after hearing that news.  That was so hard for them.  I remember watching the news that night and seeing the mangled Astro Van they had been driving.  

Jeff and the boys got home about 3 in the morning.  The next day we all went down to the Idaho Falls hospital and met with the family.  Blake and Mindy, his wife, were there, and then several of both of the families were there.  They really didn’t know if Shane or Daniel would make it.  Especially Daniel.  They were banged up pretty bad.  I remember Blake and Ryan just holding each other and crying.  It was heartbreaking.

The following Monday, the 21^st, Ryan had scheduled for back surgery in the Idaho Falls hospital.  I drove him down about 5 in the morning.  It was still dark out and the song came on “Somewhere Out There”.  I felt like Jenny was singing to Ryan that it was ok.  I didn’t say anything.  I don’t know what he was thinking.  But I just kept driving and crying.  

During the week-long stay in the hospital I kept hearing Jan’s voice, constantly saying to me “check on Shane and Daniel.  Shane and Daniel.  Shane and Daniel.”  I can almost still hear it today.  It was constantly in my ears.  The family was very busy getting ready for the funerals and everything and it was tough for them to be everywhere all at once.  So, I would sit with Ryan for awhile, and then I would go sit with Shane for awhile, then with Daniel for awhile.  Sometimes they knew I was there.  Sometimes they didn’t.  I felt like they were my own little boys just fighting for their lives.

Ryan was released from the hospital on Friday, the day before the funeral and we went over to the funeral home to spend some time.  Jenny was dressed in the beautiful white dress that she wore to the prom with Ryan earlier that year.  Chuck and Jan were dressed in their Temple clothes.  

Many things have happened between then and now.  So many lives were changed on that day, when a thoughtless person chose to get behind the wheel of a car when he was drunk.  It doesn’t just affect one person, or one family, but hundreds of people were affected that day and for years and years to come.  But hopefully we can all look back and be able to say that we were privileged to know some very special people that traveled this earth for a very short time.    Colen and Ruth have since gone on to join them on the other side now too.  Their boys still do wonderful things on this side of the veil, while they do wonderful things on the other side of the veil.  I have been able to become very close with Jan’s family and feel like they are my siblings.  I cherish those friendships beyond measure!

This was written as part of a tribute to Chuck, Jan, and Jennifer by Jeff at the Malad, Idaho Cowboy Poetry Gathering in 2003:  In the course of life and our dealings with other people, the best that we can do is to find friendships that are lasting and deep.  True friendships do not end when we give up this mortal frame, but continue in the Eternities.  I know that day will come when we will again embrace our friends Chuck, Jan, and Jenny, face to face, and then we will understand true happiness—When we can pull out the board games and play all night long.

Oh my friends, I miss you so much as my thoughts are turned to you today.  Just know that you are missed!  

Tom did a project for his Drugs of Use and Abuse class and put together a video that he posted:  Drunk Driving--Tom Muench Project

Until next time.  Becky

My Purpose In Life?

"Let Adversity Make You A Better Person"

October is upon us now and finally the weather is starting to turn a little cooler.  I'm happy with that.  I like the cooler weather.  Spring and fall are my most favorite seasons.  I thought fall was coming early this year, but the hot weather lasted alot longer than I had hoped.  Now that it's cooler, I sure hope that it doesn't jump right into winter.

I spend alot of my time at home, alone, trying to keep myself busy.  The past several years I have worked most days on Family Research.  Hours and hours of searching through pictures, contacting relatives, and searching internet sites for birth records, death records and census records of those who have gone before.  I am driven to find those in my own family and in Jeff's family who carved the way for us and for our children.

 Check out my Family History Links to the right for some of what I've been up to.........

Rachel Ellen Woolstenhulme & James Thomas Beard

My Grandparents on my father's side

Anita Larsen & William John Burgener

 My Grandparents on my mother's side

Frances Anne Withers & Otto Henry Muench

Jeff's Grandparents on his father's side

Marion Katherine Hallett & Raymond Ward Pillsbury

Jeff's Grandparents on his mother's side

As I find a family in a census, my heart turns to them and smiles and I want to know more about what they went through in their lives.  Did they have it hard?  Did they live close to other family members?  Were they business owners?  Were they farmers?  What was it about them that was handed down to me that I might be able to hand down the line to my kids and grand kids to make them better people?

 1870 Census Record of James W. Withers Family

 Living in Porter Township, Cass County, Michigan

Seems I got distracted.......
The past couple of weeks I have been working on a new project and have become a little obsessed with it.  It's called Indexing.  All of these records that I am looking for in the internet have to be scanned-in so that I can find them. Somebody has to make that possible.  So how is it done?

There is a project called Indexing.  The key events of billions of people(birth, death, census) are being preserved and made available to everyone through the efforts of people like you and me.  Volunteers from around the world are able to transcribe the records--all from the convenience of our their own homes.  The indexes are then posted for Free so that we can find them when we are doing our research.  Check out Indexing for yourself

I started working on Indexing and it is so fun, and addicting.  I'll work on it awhile and think I'm going to quit, then say "oh, just one more", and just keep going.  I have also been helping other people, like my little neighbor lady, who is in her 80's.  Her husband has Parkinson disease and she spends a lot of her time helping him.

The other night as I was crawling in to bed I ask Jeff, "what is my purpose in life?  What is it that I am suppose to be doing with my life?"  He said, "You're suppose to be helping people like ____(my neighbor)".  The next day I spent all afternoon with her.  It took quite a bit of patience, because she's kind of slow with computers and remembering, but as I left she said, "Becky, this is the most fun I've had in an afternoon in a very long time."  I had to turn away so she wouldn't see my tears.

As I have been contemplating why my mind was turned so much to Indexing lately, I really feel like I needed to learn the program well enough so that I could maybe help others.  How many little ladies, like my neighbor, or disabled people, like my friend Afton, or stay-at-home Moms, need that little extra "something" to make them feel like they are accomplishing something worthwhile today? With the long winter days soon upon us, will Indexing help them to pass the time and feel like they are contributing to life?  Can my purpose be to help someone else feel like they have a purpose in this life?  Hmmmm......who knows? 

Until next time.  Becky

An Explanation....I Suppose

"Let Adversity Make You A Better Person"

Well, I guess I brought it on myself by making myself all "public" and everything.  I really kind of liked the hermit lifestyle, living in hibernation and all, but then it was suggested that I make a "blog"(still have a rough time with that word...heh), and then sin of all sins for me, I went public on FACEBOOK.  I still can't believe that I open myself up every day to the whole world.  I have really been quite a recluse this past several years.  So...that brings me to the purpose of this "post".

I guess I have said a few things and I guess people have ask a few questions, so the word has kind of gotten out there that well, somethings not quite right with me.  Well, for those of you have known me forever, you knew all along that there was something wrong...heh!  I was just able to mask it to the rest of the world.  Right?  I have a hard time opening up and telling the world what is "really wrong" with me, but maybe it's best to do it this way, rather than have the speculations.  So hear goes....I will try!

To begin with I must give a little history of my life I suppose.  I had always been very active, physically.  I was married when I was 21 and I had 4 boys and 2 miscarriages by the time I was 28.  That took it's toll on me a little, but after our first son was born I found it boring just being a "stay-at-home Mom", so I felt like I needed to do more to help support the family.  I went looking for work.  We moved into an apartment complex in Rexburg where we managed 20 units and 100 college girls for about 3 years, then to another complex that had 60 units and 360 college girls for 2 years and then back to the other complex for another 5 years.  Besides the "managing" part, I did most of the cleaning of the apartments also.

After 10 years of that, we bought a real "fixer upper" home and moved out of town and I had to get a job to help with the payments.  I was able to secure a job at the new Wal-Mart that was coming into town and after 3 months was given the job of Personnel Manager there.  I worked there for 5-1/2 years.  It was while I was working at Wal-Mart that I started having some health issues.  I called them my "spells".  I went to several doctors and no one could tell me what was going on.  I kept track of my "spells"... times, foods I ate, activities, etc. and there was no rhyme or reason to them.  They would leave me very tired, sick, terrible headache, lethargic, etc.  I just learned to live with them.

Jeff was a printer and worked for the Idaho Falls School District and then the Standard Journal Newspaper in town and also run a printing business out of our home.  When I left Wal-Mart I helped out with the printing business and it was really nice to be home with the boys.  I worked hard on the house and the property that we had and we tried to fix things up during that time.  It was nice that I wasn't on such a strict schedule so that when I had my "spells" I was able to just be home and take care of myself.

After being home for 2 years, Jeff was laid off of work and so I started looking for a job.  I was hired part time at Ricks College in the fall of 1999 as a secretary to one of the Administrative Vice Presidents and within about 6 months I was able to be full time.  I went from answering phones to putting the catalog together, helping with the change over from a 2 year college to a 4 year University, working with the curriculum, coordinating the student travel, scheduling rooms on campus, dealing with professor contracts, and a plethora of other duties.  I loved my job!  It was really busy but I loved the people I worked with and it made me stretch myself.  The benefits were awesome and I could see myself working there for the rest of my life.

In September of 2003 I woke up about 3 am and Jeff was at my side.  I ask him what was up and he said that I had just had a grand mal seizure.  It about scared him to death.  I don't remember any of it.  I had a hard time remembering what day it was and what I had done the day before.  I had about bit my tongue off and as the day wore on my entire body felt like I had worked it really hard because all of my muscles had tightened up during the seizure. 

They did some tests, an MRI for MS and a few other things, but sort of dismissed it as a fluke.  I took a few days off of work.  The day I went back to work I remember looking at my pile of things I needed to do and thinking "oh my, what do I do with these?"  I would move them from one place to the other on my desk and then back again not knowing what to do with them. Then slowly I remembered how to do something, and eventually things came back. 

I started seeing a Neurologist in Idaho Falls and we started tests, EEG's and such, and we started trying different medications.  It was then that I learned that my "spells" had actually been mini seizures.  It was very clear to the doctors what they were now.  I continued to have the mini seizures.

In November of that same year, 3 months later, I woke up about 3 or 4 in the morning with Jeff at my side and I had had another grand mal seizure.  My Neurologist decided to send me to Salt Lake to the University of Utah to a Neurologist to try to help me, since he didn't seem to be able to.  I went through more tests down there, and tried more medications.  And once again, I went through the process of trying to remember how to do my job again. 

Things seemed to get better and I thought that finally I was going to have this thing under control when I finally hit the year mark since I had had a grand mal seizure.  But in March of 2005 I woke up and Jeff said that I had had 3 grand mal seizures already.  I was very sick and then later I had another, making it 4 in one night.  I lost a big part of my memory at that time and had to be away from work for quite awhile.  They found someone to replace me temporarily and then I got a letter saying they would have to replace me permanently.  That was a huge blow.  What a sad, sad day that was for me.  I loved my job.

Well, the last 5 years I have been on disability.  I lost my privileges of driving and working.  I have had so many tests that are very invasive.  Scary tests.  They would really like to do brain surgery to remove the area that is causing the seizures, but that to me is very scary!  At least now I know what I can and can't do.  The medications that I am on now do not completely control my mini seizures, but I have not had a grand mal seizure in over 2 years.  There are many side effects of the medications, one being osteo arthritis which is probably the hardest one for me to get use to since I can't get out and do all the things that I use to love to do.  But I try to keep myself busy and I take life one day at a time.  I never know what the day will bring and I can't plan too far in advance.  I celebrate the good days and try to accomplish something, "anything" on the bad days.

So, on my first blog post I wrote that "Let Adversity Make You A Better Person".  It has been through this whole experience that I have learned much, and am still learning.  It is a process and I don't think we ever stop the learning.  Someday we will know the "why" in our experiences, but for now we must just work through the experiences and try to make the best of them and maybe we can help someone else along the road. 

Until next time!  Becky