The Big Picture

"Let Adversity Make You A Better Person"

This past couple of weeks I’ve had a lot of time to lay awake at night and do some thinking.  I’ve thought about all of this before, but as 1 a.m. became 2 a.m. and so on until 5 or 6 a.m. I was able to organize my thoughts a little more on this subject and decided I would put it on my web page.

In the fall of 1999 it became apparent that I needed to go out looking for a job to help support our family again.  Of course my goal was to find the best paying job with the best benefits, and it would be nice to find something that I would enjoy doing too.  I applied several places but was called in for an interview at the potato processing plant here in town.  They were looking for a full time Human Resources Manager.  I had the experience, and the pay and benefits were awesome.  It looked very promising.  But alas, I was not chosen for that position.   

A couple of days later I got a call from Ricks College and they had a part time secretary position available.  Well, with my blinders on, I thought “well, cool, I suppose I will take it.  At least it’s a job”.  It’s a good thing that “Someone” else was watching out for me and my family and could see “The Big Picture”.

I started out as a part time secretary, answering phones.  I remember walking by the lady that put the catalog together and thinking “wow, wouldn’t that be something to be able to put the catalog together!”  Have you ever heard the phrase “be careful what you wish for?”  Well, be careful what you even think about.  I remember my boss talking to me about the course syllabus.  I had no idea what he was talking about.  Ya see when it was my turn to graduate from high school, it really “wasn’t important” for me to get an education.  “The money wasn’t there for it.”  So working in the Academic Department at the college, many of the terms they used were very foreign to me.

Within 6 months though, I was full time in the Academic Department and right in the middle of the 2 year college changing over to a 4 year University, BYU-Idaho.  My boss continued to give me more and more responsibilities and I loved it!  I learned what a syllabus was and it’s not a silly bus that you drive (heh), and guess what…….I ended up being the one that put the catalog together.  I don’t know for sure if that was a blessing sometimes, but I loved it too.  

I continued to receive more and more responsibilities and gained more and more confidence and it was the best job I ever could have been given.  But as I lay there in the middle of the night thinking about all of this, it was way more than just “me” that was being taken care of here. 

Because of my job, Jeff could get a tuition waiver and so he went back to school and got his Associates Degree in Ag Mechanics and then was hired on full time at BYU-Idaho working on the busses.  My kids got a tuition waiver which has allowed them to be able to get a good start on their education.  The health care benefits have been amazing, which without them I don’t know what we would have done.  With my health problems and the different things that Jeff and the kids have had done, we just couldn’t have paid for it. 

 

So, when you sit in your little chair looking straight ahead with your blinders on and think “dang, why didn’t I get that job?”  Or, “why is this happening to me?”……sometimes we don’t see THE BIG PICTURE until we  are able to look back on it and see how it was painted, but the Creator, the One who knows all, sees what we cannot see.  He helps us make those little turns on the path in our lives that the blind spots would make impossible for us to get around.  And wow, there is no other way to get from point A to point B without that help.  

Thank you for watching over me and mine.  I know You are there!
Watching out for Me 

Until next time!  Becky

Remembering

"Let Adversity Make You A Better Person"

Whenever there is an “event” of any kind, it is different for each person that is involved.  Each person remembers what they were doing at the moment of the event and their feelings during and after the event, and then how it affected them.  So, even though it was the very same event, there could be millions of different ways that same event could be told….or remembered.

Today marks one of those “events” in my life and in the life of my family and friends.  It sort of seems like there was life before “the accident” and after “the accident”.  

In my opinion, all major events need to have some history in order for the reader to know why it touched or affected a person the way that it did.  So I will take this time to reminisce a bit, I suppose.

In the mid-1990’s our family was involved in the Cowboy Poets of Idaho, which were a group ranging from ranchers and farmers in their 80’s to youngsters, like my kids, who had regular every day jobs, but also liked to perform Cowboy Poems and Music and would gather together as often as time would permit at what we called Cowboy Poetry Gatherings and perform for each other and for others who wanted to listen.  Those who met together often became very close friends, often closer than family in many cases.  It use to be a joke that everyone would tell that the Gatherings were like Family Reunions only everybody liked each other.

There was one such couple, Colen and Ruth Sweeten that we became very close friends with.  Colen performed poetry and at times he would have his grand-daughter, Jenny Isom, perform with him.  She sang and played her flute.  I think she was about 14 when we first saw her perform.  I remember one song she did was “Grand-Dad’s Wooden Chain” while Colen would sit and whittle a wooden chain.  

It was at a gathering in Salmon, Idaho that we performed at (Jeff on guitar and vocals, Ryan on the bass guitar, Tom on the fiddle, Bobby and on vocals), that Jenny and Ryan “sort of” became good friends.  But not only that, I met her Mom, Jan, and we became good friends too.  Their family lived in Idaho Falls.  There was the Dad, Chuck, their older son, Blake, and two younger sons, Shane, who was Tom’s age, and Daniel, who was Bobby’s age.  It was then that our family friendship began.  

As time went on, we would spend many evenings or weekends together as families, celebrating holidays or just playing board games.  The boys got along so good together and yes, so did Ryan and Jenny.  Jan and Jenny started singing together at some of the gatherings and they would come over to the house about once a week and we would help them practice.  The boys would play the music for them.  I sang a couple of songs with them.  We were all just goofy and happy together.  We traveled to the gatherings together also.

Well, with all of that in mind…..jump ahead……there was a Cowboy Poetry Gathering coming up in Emmett, Idaho scheduled for October 18^th and 19^th, 2002.  Ryan and I had decided not to go, but Jeff, Tom and Bob drove across the state for the 2 day event, to perform.  I know now, looking backwards, there was definitely divine intervention in me staying behind.

It was Saturday, the 19^th, around noon, Colen Sweeten called me.  This was quite unusual.  I knew that Ruth had been sick and in the hospital, so I was afraid something had gone wrong there.  But nothing ever could have prepared me for what came next.  He told me that the Isom’s had been in a head on collision that morning.  Hit by a drunk driver.  Chuck, Jan, and Jenny had all been killed.  Shane and Daniel were in critical condition in the Idaho Falls hospital.  

Even now, the tears are rolling down my face and my chest is shaking with sobs as I remember how horrible that felt.  Ryan had gone to town with a friend and I knew that I had to tell him what had happened.  He had taken my cell phone and I called him to have him come home.  I called Jeff in Emmett and ended up telling him right before they were getting ready to perform.  I don’t know how they went out on that stage and performed after hearing that news.  That was so hard for them.  I remember watching the news that night and seeing the mangled Astro Van they had been driving.  

Jeff and the boys got home about 3 in the morning.  The next day we all went down to the Idaho Falls hospital and met with the family.  Blake and Mindy, his wife, were there, and then several of both of the families were there.  They really didn’t know if Shane or Daniel would make it.  Especially Daniel.  They were banged up pretty bad.  I remember Blake and Ryan just holding each other and crying.  It was heartbreaking.

The following Monday, the 21^st, Ryan had scheduled for back surgery in the Idaho Falls hospital.  I drove him down about 5 in the morning.  It was still dark out and the song came on “Somewhere Out There”.  I felt like Jenny was singing to Ryan that it was ok.  I didn’t say anything.  I don’t know what he was thinking.  But I just kept driving and crying.  

During the week-long stay in the hospital I kept hearing Jan’s voice, constantly saying to me “check on Shane and Daniel.  Shane and Daniel.  Shane and Daniel.”  I can almost still hear it today.  It was constantly in my ears.  The family was very busy getting ready for the funerals and everything and it was tough for them to be everywhere all at once.  So, I would sit with Ryan for awhile, and then I would go sit with Shane for awhile, then with Daniel for awhile.  Sometimes they knew I was there.  Sometimes they didn’t.  I felt like they were my own little boys just fighting for their lives.

Ryan was released from the hospital on Friday, the day before the funeral and we went over to the funeral home to spend some time.  Jenny was dressed in the beautiful white dress that she wore to the prom with Ryan earlier that year.  Chuck and Jan were dressed in their Temple clothes.  

Many things have happened between then and now.  So many lives were changed on that day, when a thoughtless person chose to get behind the wheel of a car when he was drunk.  It doesn’t just affect one person, or one family, but hundreds of people were affected that day and for years and years to come.  But hopefully we can all look back and be able to say that we were privileged to know some very special people that traveled this earth for a very short time.    Colen and Ruth have since gone on to join them on the other side now too.  Their boys still do wonderful things on this side of the veil, while they do wonderful things on the other side of the veil.  I have been able to become very close with Jan’s family and feel like they are my siblings.  I cherish those friendships beyond measure!

This was written as part of a tribute to Chuck, Jan, and Jennifer by Jeff at the Malad, Idaho Cowboy Poetry Gathering in 2003:  In the course of life and our dealings with other people, the best that we can do is to find friendships that are lasting and deep.  True friendships do not end when we give up this mortal frame, but continue in the Eternities.  I know that day will come when we will again embrace our friends Chuck, Jan, and Jenny, face to face, and then we will understand true happiness—When we can pull out the board games and play all night long.

Oh my friends, I miss you so much as my thoughts are turned to you today.  Just know that you are missed!  

Tom did a project for his Drugs of Use and Abuse class and put together a video that he posted:  Drunk Driving--Tom Muench Project

Until next time.  Becky

My Purpose In Life?

"Let Adversity Make You A Better Person"

October is upon us now and finally the weather is starting to turn a little cooler.  I'm happy with that.  I like the cooler weather.  Spring and fall are my most favorite seasons.  I thought fall was coming early this year, but the hot weather lasted alot longer than I had hoped.  Now that it's cooler, I sure hope that it doesn't jump right into winter.

I spend alot of my time at home, alone, trying to keep myself busy.  The past several years I have worked most days on Family Research.  Hours and hours of searching through pictures, contacting relatives, and searching internet sites for birth records, death records and census records of those who have gone before.  I am driven to find those in my own family and in Jeff's family who carved the way for us and for our children.

 Check out my Family History Links to the right for some of what I've been up to.........

Rachel Ellen Woolstenhulme & James Thomas Beard

My Grandparents on my father's side

Anita Larsen & William John Burgener

 My Grandparents on my mother's side

Frances Anne Withers & Otto Henry Muench

Jeff's Grandparents on his father's side

Marion Katherine Hallett & Raymond Ward Pillsbury

Jeff's Grandparents on his mother's side

As I find a family in a census, my heart turns to them and smiles and I want to know more about what they went through in their lives.  Did they have it hard?  Did they live close to other family members?  Were they business owners?  Were they farmers?  What was it about them that was handed down to me that I might be able to hand down the line to my kids and grand kids to make them better people?

 1870 Census Record of James W. Withers Family

 Living in Porter Township, Cass County, Michigan

Seems I got distracted.......
The past couple of weeks I have been working on a new project and have become a little obsessed with it.  It's called Indexing.  All of these records that I am looking for in the internet have to be scanned-in so that I can find them. Somebody has to make that possible.  So how is it done?

There is a project called Indexing.  The key events of billions of people(birth, death, census) are being preserved and made available to everyone through the efforts of people like you and me.  Volunteers from around the world are able to transcribe the records--all from the convenience of our their own homes.  The indexes are then posted for Free so that we can find them when we are doing our research.  Check out Indexing for yourself

I started working on Indexing and it is so fun, and addicting.  I'll work on it awhile and think I'm going to quit, then say "oh, just one more", and just keep going.  I have also been helping other people, like my little neighbor lady, who is in her 80's.  Her husband has Parkinson disease and she spends a lot of her time helping him.

The other night as I was crawling in to bed I ask Jeff, "what is my purpose in life?  What is it that I am suppose to be doing with my life?"  He said, "You're suppose to be helping people like ____(my neighbor)".  The next day I spent all afternoon with her.  It took quite a bit of patience, because she's kind of slow with computers and remembering, but as I left she said, "Becky, this is the most fun I've had in an afternoon in a very long time."  I had to turn away so she wouldn't see my tears.

As I have been contemplating why my mind was turned so much to Indexing lately, I really feel like I needed to learn the program well enough so that I could maybe help others.  How many little ladies, like my neighbor, or disabled people, like my friend Afton, or stay-at-home Moms, need that little extra "something" to make them feel like they are accomplishing something worthwhile today? With the long winter days soon upon us, will Indexing help them to pass the time and feel like they are contributing to life?  Can my purpose be to help someone else feel like they have a purpose in this life?  Hmmmm......who knows? 

Until next time.  Becky